the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
