he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
