So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
