: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
