just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
