this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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