every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Watching her eat just hurts me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The feeling are messing with the penis
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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