It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
