I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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