So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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