she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
