The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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