she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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