Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
