the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
