Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
