At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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