Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
