reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
