Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
