____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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