Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
