his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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