I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
