I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
