Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
