My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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