Me too!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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