Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
