I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
