Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
