Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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