you would pick up someone in the library
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize