the new term for farting is butt boxing.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
