i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize