Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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