i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
