Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Terrible idea I love it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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