they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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