Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
