Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just forgot I was standing up.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
