i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
