so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
