He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
