just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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