Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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