I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
