Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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