i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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