don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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