Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
