Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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