i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
