If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The best revenge is premature balding
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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