is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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