Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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