we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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