Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize