Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
