They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
