I bet he comes in French.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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